Why I am always right

I don't really know why, but I usually am. I've come to accept this, and it's probably not a bad idea to do so yourself. I don't question it, but it seems to be a fact. I will be more than happy to take control of your life for your benefit, and I promise that I will not make any more than 25% of your financial decisions with me in mind. If you would like to begin letting me improve your life by completely controlling it, just send me a direct message via Twitter @Beardman88 and I will immediately issue you your first pre-made decision. If I do not immediately respond, don't do anything. It's not that I haven't made a decision for you; I simply have decided not to have you do anything at that particular moment. Get comfortable when you make your last decision to have me make all your decisions. I may decide not to have you do anything for a while, and I wouldn't want you deciding anything on your own. That could be dangerous.